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Corruption
Apr 26th, 2009 by Mike

“If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?” 1Harry Shearer

Footnotes   [ + ]

1. Harry Shearer
Our Side
Apr 25th, 2009 by Mike

“Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness.” 1Cullen Hightower

Footnotes   [ + ]

1. Cullen Hightower
Another Trillion
Mar 23rd, 2009 by Mike

A trillion here, a trillion there, pretty soon you’re talking about real money. 1Paraphrased from the original Everett Dirksen quote

Footnotes   [ + ]

1. Paraphrased from the original Everett Dirksen quote
Cat Retirement Home
Jan 4th, 2009 by Mike

 

Cat Retirement Home

Cat Retirement Home

We’re home, the guests are gone so maybe I’ll get around to posting some more. In the mean time, check out this coupon I got in the mail for cat services. Free cat retirement analysis. Free meow mobile transport service. Cat retirement home. 

I guess if you were a cat person and you had an old cat you just couldn’t bear to put down this wouldn’t seem as weird to you as it does to me.

Combovers Revisited
Nov 16th, 2008 by Mike

Sen. Byron Dorgan (D-ND)

Sen. Byron Dorgan (D-ND)

So what do you think? Is this a combover or a really expensive hat?

Not Well
Nov 9th, 2008 by Mike

I have not been feeling well today. But I learned something about diarrhea: It’s dangerous to just fart as usual. You know what I mean.

Golf Signage
Sep 2nd, 2008 by Mike

    Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scottsdale:

  1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
  2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
  3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
  4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
  5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
  6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
  7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.
  8. DON’T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
  9. QUIET PLEASE…WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
  10. DON’T TAKE EXTRA STROKES. 

WELL DONE. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, & TEE OFF.

A Miser
Aug 13th, 2008 by Mike

“Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.” — Laurence J. Peter

Politics
Jul 27th, 2008 by Mike

“Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.” —Ambrose Bierce

“Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.” —Ronald Reagan

“Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.” —Lester B. Pearson

“In politics, absurdity is not a handicap.” —Napoleon Bonaparte

“Crime does not pay … as well as politics.” -Alfred E. Newman

See, Therapy Does Work
May 26th, 2008 by Mike

“After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, ‘No hablo ingles.'” —Ronnie Shakes

William G. McAdoo Quote
May 24th, 2008 by Mike

“It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.” –William G. McAdoo

Which quote reminds me of a story I heard back in the 60s:

A man was driving on a one lane bridge when he met another one driving in the opposite direction. The second man said, “I never back up for and idiot. 1or any other nasty name you like

“I always do,” said the first. He promptly threw the gears into reverse and backed off the bridge.

Footnotes   [ + ]

1. or any other nasty name you like
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