A trillion here, a trillion there, pretty soon you’re talking about real money.¹

© 2009, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

1. Paraphrased from the original Everett Dirksen quote [↩]

Cat Retirement Home

We’re home, the guests are gone so maybe I’ll get around to posting some more. In the mean time, check out this coupon I got in the mail for cat services. Free cat retirement analysis. Free meow mobile transport service. Cat retirement home. 

I guess if you were a cat person and you had an old cat you just couldn’t bear to put down this wouldn’t seem as weird to you as it does to me.

© 2009, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

Sen. Byron Dorgan (D-ND)

So what do you think? Is this a combover or a really expensive hat?

© 2008, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

I have not been feeling well today. But I learned something about diarrhea: It’s dangerous to just fart as usual. You know what I mean.

© 2008, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

    Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scottsdale:

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.
8. DON’T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE…WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON’T TAKE EXTRA STROKES. 

WELL DONE. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, & TEE OFF.

© 2008, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

“Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.” — Laurence J. Peter

© 2008, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

“Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.” —Ambrose Bierce

“Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.” —Ronald Reagan

“Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.” —Lester B. Pearson

“In politics, absurdity is not a handicap.” —Napoleon Bonaparte

“Crime does not pay … as well as politics.” -Alfred E. Newman

© 2008, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

“After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, ‘No hablo ingles.’” –Ronnie Shakes

© 2008, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

“It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.” –William G. McAdoo

Which quote reminds me of a story I heard back in the 60s:

A man was driving on a one lane bridge when he met another one driving in the opposite direction. The second man said, “I never back up for and idiot.¹”

“I always do,” said the first. He promptly threw the gears into reverse and backed off the bridge.

© 2008, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

1. or any other nasty name you like [↩]

“If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners.” –Johnny Carson

© 2008, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.