Read in the paper this morning that a school district in Maine is giving iPads to each enrolling kindergartner. Yes, that’s kindergartner. They’re getting the $700 models. I think I’ll go back to school.

No wonder the cost per student in the US is around 10 grand each.

© 2011, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

We just received a letter from the U.S. Department of Commerce telling us that our 2010 Census form will arrive in about a week. I’m glad the government is spending billions to tell us this. Last year we received a letter from the government telling us that our stimulus check would arrive in about a week. Anybody else think this is a waste of money?

© 2010, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

In this morning’s Daily Sun, an ad for a shoe store claimed, “We have a huge stock of reduced shoes.”

I think I’ll wander on down there to see if they have some size thirteens that have been reduced to nine and a half EEEEs.

© 2010, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

An article on Fox News reports that PETA is asking AP to quit referring to animals as “it.”

Fido’s a “he,” not an “it.”¹

The organization, known worldwide for championing animal rights, is now taking its campaign to the written word, calling on Norm Goldstein, editor of The Associated Press Stylebook, to revise its guidelines, which currently characterize animals as inanimate objects.

In a letter written to Goldstein, the animal activists ask the AP to “take a progressive step and give animals the respect that they deserve by revising AP style guidelines to reflect the usage of personal pronouns for all animals.”

So, here’s my question: Which dogs and cats read the newspaper and can tell the difference if they’re being called he, she, or it?

© 2007 – 2008, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

1. UPDATE: According to the current Associated Press Stylebook, if an animal’s sex is known or the animal has a name, “it” is to be referred to as “he” or “she” as appropriate. [↩]

In case you missed it, the ACLU is suing the State of Indiana on behalf of Mark Studler because Indiana is not charging a $15.oo fee for the popular “In God We Trust” license plates. Rather than recap the entire “adventure” here, I’ll point you to two blogs that disagree on the reason for the lawsuit.

John at The Daily Detour says it’s about God.

Gary Varvel¹ says it isn’t.

Both think it’s ridiculous; so do I.

© 2007 – 2009, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

1. link no longer valid [↩]

Have you ever noticed how some people always use certain adjectives with particular nouns? TV and TV news is famous for this practice, but we all do it. Here’s a partial list to get you started. How many can you come up with?

1. Innocent children. Why is it that children are always innocent? If you’ve ever had kids, you’ll know that this prase is entirely erroneous. Innocent victims is in the same category. To be fair, the “innocent” usually doesn’t refer to the child’s or victim’s moral or legal culpability. I usually means they didn’t deserve what happened to them
2. Nice cup of tea. As in, “Here, let me fix you a nice cup of tea.” This is mostly used in British novels and TV programs, but we Americans use it too. Why not just say, “A cup of tea?”
3. Good money. As in, “I gave good money for that truck and now it’s broke.” I don’t know how money can have moral character.
4. All new. This usually refers to episodes of programs on TV. It has a clever ring to it. It sounds better than, “New.” I guess they’re implying that the episode is 100% new as opposed to 25% new. What producer would only change 25% of a previous episode, anyway. Oh yeah, I forgot Lost.
5. Senseless violence. What violence makes sense anyway? Sheesh.
6. Random act of violence. Like the person committing the violence is committing it randomly. Even the shooter in the Jerk picked the name out of a phone book. Violence happens on purpose, folks, not randomly.

Ok, now it’s your turn. How many of these silly phrases can you come up with?

© 2007 – 2008, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

Quoted from The Villages Daily Sun:

Georgia: The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Oops.

Animal-control officers in Cobb County have cited tow women for having their dogs off leashes–even though the women were in a park created specifically to let dogs off leashes. When Cobb opend an off-leash dog park last month, it seems, officials didn’t take the county’s leash law into account.

“It’s ludicrous to say it’s off-leash and to give people tickes for having them off the leash,”¹ said Clare Salkin, who was ticketed for violating the law. She has a court date in about three weeks for unleashing Bob, her Labrador-mix.

The county says it has stopped enforcing the leash law in the park². It plans to clarify its ordinances to make it legal for people to unleash dogs in the park, said a county spokesman.

© 2006 – 2008, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

1. Duh [↩]
2. Even though those already ticketed are being prosecuted [↩]

Known to the State of California

Originally uploaded by MajorMike.

I had to laugh.

We were at Harris Ranch. A cool spot to eat between LA and Sacramento on I-5 in California. (They say “The Five” in CA). We stopped to eat and relax on our journey from Arcadia to San Jose. Here was this sign. I’d seen it before in California, but this time I had the camera.

I’m not sure why facilities in CA post these signs or what exactly they refer to (asbestos, mercury in the fish, global warming, contaminated Viagra), but I found the sign hilarious.

How can a state know anything? Scientists know, citizens know, people know, but implying a state knows is like saying, “a rock knows.” Jeepers, the State of Florida knows that drilling within 100 miles of the coast will destroy the tourist trade. Sheesh. It’s the citizens who know, or the experts in the state who know, or the legislators who think they know, but the state who knows?

Actually, those who require signs in the state of California who requred the warning sign I’m making fun of are serious about the risks they are warning about. Too bad they butcher the language in which the sign is written.

Ok, I’m a critic.

© 2006 – 2008, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

USA Today, June 6, 2006: ‘Road rage’ disease affects as many as 16 million Americans, study says

So now, the idiot who’s tailgating you, honking his horn, flipping you off, and trying to run you off the road is off the hook for his own behavior. Intermittant Explosive Disorder (IED).¹ Read the rest of this entry »

© 2006 – 2008, J. M. Erickson. All rights reserved.

1. I thought an IED was an improvised explosive device or roadside bomb [↩]