Scene: A senior couple reading the newspaper over a morning cup of coffee.
She: So every year we get a C.O.L.A. to offset inflation…what happens if there’s no inflation?
He: We gat a C.O.R.A.
She: What’s that?
He: Cost of Re-election Adjustment.
Category: funny
Once in a black and blue moon . . .
Found in The Villages Daily Sun:
Berlin — Reuters
A German man mooning at railway staff in a departing train got his trousers caught in a carriage door and ended up being dragged half naked along the platform, out of the station and onto the tracks.
Dangling by his trousers, the 22-year-old journalism student got pulled along for about 200 meters, all the while managing to keep his legs away from the wheels of the train.
The ordeal ended when a passenger pulled the emergency brake.
Rescue services were called in, causing rail services between Bremen and Hamburg to be suspended for over an hour, delaying 23 trains.
Moral of the story: When your mother told you, “Just keep your pants on,” she wasn’t whistling Dixie.
The Opera
“Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.” —Ed Gardner
Starving Dogs
“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.” —Mark Twain
The Road to Hell
“The road to hell is paved with adverbs.”— Stephen King