In the June 2009 issue of Reader’s Digest, is a joke contest in which the top 10 jokes were published. There were two in particular that I liked: Joke #3 and Joke #6. Here’s Joke #3:
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks.
God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great!
The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed.
Up in heaven, she sees God, “You said I had 30 more years to live, ” she complains.
“That’s true,” says God.
“So what happened?”
God shrugs, “I didn’t recognize you.”
I’m declaring Mrs. Major completely healed. She spent an hour and a half yesterday at the new JoAnne Fabrics store nearby. Though she still has some annoying swelling in her knees, which the Dr. said will subside in a few months, she set a 10 year record for being on her feet.
Mrs Major continues to improve. She’s ditched the cane and now walks around even better than before the surgery. She’s still a little tentative, but she doesn’t waddle any more like her knees hurt. She’s cut way down on the pain meds. Maybe she’ll take back some of the household chores.
My golf game continues to improve. I’m pleased with that.
It’s hot. 98º with 50% humidity (5:30 p.m.). It seems cooler, now. Around noon it was 91º with 80% humidity. At least we’re not burning down like California. Or flooding like the midwest did.
Is it just me or are our choices for President getting worse each election? I’ve got my clothespin for my nose all ready. I haven’t missed an election since I was 21 (yes we had to be 21 to vote once upon a time) and I don’t plan to miss this one, but I’m really tempted to stay in bed on election day.
I just upgraded my main Mac to OSX 10.5. I like it. It seems to run faster and has lots of new features I like. I ran into some trouble because all of my web sites I test locally on this Mac before I do major revisions to the Internet ones. When I upgraded, none of them worked. Turns out you have to turn on the programming language and databases with 10.5. Earlier versions were automatically turned on. No big deal…just a few edits to some configuration files, but it drove me crazy for about a day and a half.
She’s doing really well. When I got home from the U.S. Open, I noticed right away…she was able to stand up long enough to give me a big welcome home kiss and hug. Now that’s improvement.
As you can see, the tapes have all fallen off the incisions and they are healing nicely.
Mrs. Major is now walking down the street seven houses in the evening instead of the two she was doing when I left. She’s also walking around the house with a cane sometimes instead of the walker. Also, she leaves the walker behind when she can steady herself on a counter or wall. Read more
Saturday, I worked all day at the Villages Woodworkers Club Woodshop which gave Mrs. Major a chance to see how she would fare while I was out of town at the U.S. Open. She passed with flying colors. She can completely take care of herself.
She’s enlisted the help of friends and neighbors while we are gone. One is moving the newspaper from the driveway to the front door, another is coming to sit in the house while Mrs. Major takes her shower, others are bringing dinner each night, still another is accompanying her on her nightly walk down the street.