18 Reasons Why I Gave Up Sex for Golf

18. You don’t have to sneak your golf magazines into the house.

17. If you are having trouble with golf, it’s perfectly acceptable to pay a professional golfer to show you how to improve your technique.

16. The Ten Commandments don’t say anything about golf.

15. If your partner takes any pictures or videotapes of you golfing, you don’t have to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you later become famous.

14. Your golf partner won’t keep asking questions about other partners you’ve golfed with.

13. It’s perfectly respectable to golf with a total stranger you happen to meet at the golf course.

12. You can put yourself through college on a golf scholarship and earn a varsity letter in golf.

11. When you see a really good golfer, you don’t have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you golfing together.

10. If your regular golf partner isn’t available, he/she won’t object if you golf with someone else.

9. Nobody will ever tell you that you can go blind if you golf by yourself.

8. When dealing with a golf pro, you never have to worry if it’s really an undercover cop.

7. You don’t have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy golf equipment.

6. You can have a golf calendar on your wall at the office, tell golf jokes and invite coworkers to golf with you without getting sued for harassment.

5. There’s no such thing as a GTD (golf transmitted disease).

4. If you want to watch golf on television, you don’t have to subscribe to a premium cable channel.

3. Nobody expects you to promise to golf with just one partner for the rest of your life, then give up the game if your partner loses interest in golfing.

2. You don’t have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily for the purpose of golfing.

1. Your golf partner will never say, “What? We just golfed last week! Is it all you ever think about?”

One thought on “18 Reasons Why I Gave Up Sex for Golf

  1. May I suggest a date at the top of the post or something so I know how far behind I might be?

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